Frequently Asked Questions

How did you and Jim meet?

Jim and I met over the Internet.  It was an accidental meeting during January 1998.  Jim was living in Florida working at the Miami Veteran’s Hospital and I was a foster parent in Southern California. We communicated over the Internet for a week, then over the phone and eventually, four months later, we met in person.  In May 1998 we were married and our first adoption occurred during June 1998.   (Ann)

Do either you or Jim have any biological children?

Neither of us have biological children and neither of us has had a desire to have biological children.  (Ann)

How did you get started building your family through adoption?

Ann started out as a foster parent at the age of 19.  When we met and married we were encouraged to adopt some of the children Ann had been foster parenting.  Ann and I agreed that we not only wanted the children to have permanency but we also wanted to know that these children were going to be a part of our “forever family.”  By, early 1999 we were able to adopt most of the boys who were living with Ann when I met her.  (Jim)

How many children have you adopted?

We have legally adopted 31 children.  Three adoptions are still pending and should be completed by the end of this year.  This will be a total of 34 children adopted.  Of our adoptions and pending adoptions, ten of the boys were adopted internationally.  Additionally, five of the children’s adoptions were private adoptions and three of those were children who had disrupted from families who had previously adopted them. The other children were adopted through Department of Social Services, primarily from California.  (Jim)

Why have you only adopted boys?

Ann saw the movie “Oliver!” when she was about eight years old.  From that point forward she was very interested in adopting and providing a loving and stable home for orphan boys.  We have not, however, limited ourselves to only boys, in fact when Ann first started as a foster parent, she was parenting teenager girls.  (Jim)

How do you pick the children you adopt?

We generally are matched with children for whom every other viable resource has been exhausted.  Statistically, we have read the boys wait longer for their “forever families” than girls.  Additionally younger children tend to be adopted more often than older children.  Also, children without disabilities are more easily matched with adoptive families than children with disabilities.  Finally children of ethnicities other than Caucasian often wait longer to be matched with adoptive families. We have always said that we have not limited ourselves to only parenting boys.  We have decided to parent the children who have not been successful being matched with other waiting families.  In our experience, it seems that the need has been the strongest for older boys with disabilities and/or of varying ethnicities.  (Jim)

Why have you adopted internationally when there are so many children available in the USA?

We have not concerned ourselves with where are children were born. There are lots of parentless children all over the world. We want to be a match for a child without a family.  With that in mind, our children were born all over the United States and in Europe.  All of the children are now American citizens and more importantly permanent members of our family.   We have always made our family available to social workers matching children domestically and internationally.  We maintain a current homestudy to complete either type of adoption.  (Ann)

How many children are you planning to adopt?

There isn't a plan, actually.  We will continue to make ourselves available as long as we have room in our heart and in our home to parent another child.   (Ann)

What size home do you have?

Our home is currently a nine bedroom and five bathroom two-story home with a residential elevator.  We are in the beginning stages of adding and additional three bedrooms, one bathroom, another living room and a second laundry room.  We hope to have our plans approved by the city during the summer of 2005 and begin construction on the fall of 2005.  (Jim)

How many loads of laundry do you do a day?

We wash, dry, fold and put-away almost 40 loads of laundry a day!  We do have two washers and two dryers but we often do get back-up especially when the gets come home from overnight camp.  In these cases we use the laundry mat. (Ann)

Here is a song the boys wrote about our laundry situation:

The Laundry Mat Song  By Jarrod, Jordan, Alexander, and David Silcock   36 loads a day This part is true When our washer breaks We all know what to do   We load up the wash In baskets and bags Working together So nobody lags    Washers in line As far as we can see Carefully we load them We cant stop to pee While the washers do their job We go to buy a snack Hurry, we remind each other We have to get back    When the wash is done We put everything in the dryer We wait and wait and wait While the temperature gets higher   Now the clothes are dry We clap when we are done Back home we go Doing laundry is of fun    (Chorus) Laundry mat, laundry mat That’s where all the fun is at, The laundry mat

What is your weekly grocery bill?

We spend about $150 a week on produce alone. Jim spends approximately $800 every week and a half at the large grocery warehouse stores. Throughout the week we have to run to the store for items like specific items for meals along with milk and eggs, etc. which can cost up to $300 in a seven-day period. Food costs are one of our largest single costs which is not hard to imagine since we have a house full of boys, many of them growing teenagers.  (Ann)

How do you afford to provide for your large family?

Jim and I run a small business from home called “First Step Supported Living."  This business helps adults with developmental and other disabilities to live in their own homes in the community. From this business we are able to pay ourselves a small salary.  Some of our children are eligible for the Adoption Assistance Program (AAP) which provides both medical insurance and a monthly stipend to provide for each eligible child’s unique needs. Thankfully, AAP is an available resource for most children to the age of 18 (and in some cases 21) who were adopted through the foster care system and are considered to have “special needs” which include older children, sibling sets, children with disabilities, children whose bio-parents have an adverse background, and children of varying ethnicities.  AAP was established as a financial incentive to encourage the adoption of children with special needs who otherwise would not have found adoptive families. Besides this monthly stipend, some of our adult children with eligible receive SSI benefits. We also receive respite services for the Regional Center of Orange County for some of the children still living at home.  Basically we try to tap into every generic financial resource available to our children and our family.  Additionally we have periodically received donations through our non-profit organization that we use to off-set the costs of camps and other recreational programs for our boys. (Ann)

How can I help your family?