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Columns
IN THE PIPELINE:
Raising 43 children
By CHRIS EPTING
She looks reasonably relaxed and calm. She
speaks in measured thoughtful sentences, pausing from time
to time to make sure she finds just the right word. A couple
of her adopted pups trot in, two tiny hardship cases named
Carl and Chad (the latter, missing a leg — he was extra
needy, and that’s why he’s here).
She smiles a bit nervously as she says she’ll be chaperoning
her 15-year-old son’s date later that afternoon. Just
another day for a mom who has just helped get her 29 kids
ready for school.
Sharing a quiet moment with Ann Silcock is
something to be valued and appreciated — she is a busy
woman, after all. As you may be aware, Ann and her husband,
Jim, have adopted 43 children over the last 10 years,
focusing their life’s energies on building a family made up
of kids that, as Ann puts it, “People just didn’t want. Kids
who are disabled, abused… everything.” But what may be
cumbersome disabilities to some parents become diamonds in
the rough for the Silcocks — they’ve watched boys bloom into
young men in their household over the years, thriving in an
environment that’s nurturing, positive and productive.
The room where we sit is quiet and calm. We’re in a house
next door to their main residence; a place the Silcocks are
adapting for their ever-growing brood. Next door, Ann’s Jim
is helping get the last kids off to school (currently, 29
sons live at home, ranging in age from 4 to 16). This helps
create some time for us to talk.
A stack of camp forms sits in front of Ann, and she’ll pore
over these after I leave. She says a typical day starts by
setting the breakfast table for 29 hungry mouths, followed
by getting them off to school (28 will leave, one son is
home schooled). At 2 p.m., the boys will start returning and
by 3:30 p.m., everyone is back home — at which point things
like homework and recreational activities commence. Sixteen
workers help with the boys who have total health-care needs,
and Ann and Jim use every free moment to forge special
one-to-one relationships with each son, as well as providing
a larger scale family concept for the boys.
The main thing I want to know about today is a new musical
CD put out by the family. Called “Team Silcock,” it is the
second effort by the family, and represents a therapeutic
exercise in helping the kids think, dream and create.
Several years ago, Ann met singer/songwriter Dave Nachmanoff
after he had played with Al Stewart at the nearby Coach
House in San Juan Capistrano. A friendship developed and
soon, Ann had recruited Dave to bring his much-in-demand
songwriting workshop right into the Silcock household.
Nachmanoff, a multi-talented writer/teacher/performer, was
knocked out by the family. “Once I gained the confidence of
the boys it became easier to get them to open up as we
created songs about their lives. The workshops we did were
cathartic, and the songs have a real power to them. I was
also impressed by this amazing notion of service the
Silcocks have taught their sons — they’re taught to help
each other, to look out for each other — to care for each
other.”
Nachmanoff’s deep connection with the kids resulted in “In
The Family,” a 17-song CD featuring songs written by the
Silcock family along with Nachmanoff. Now comes “Team
Silcock,” 20 new songs again written by the Silcock/Nachmanoff
team.
Ann says the project was a wonderful chance to give the kids
a vehicle for expression, as well as a lesson in the
creative process. The lyrics read like diaries in a sense…
From the title track: “Lots of brothers, they come from far
and wide, Russian and Romania and also Oceanside. Carolina
all the way to Kazakhstan brought together by the grace of a
woman called St. Ann.”
And from “Family Sharing:” “When you share you show respect.
When you share, you’re not just a little speck and people
respect you too. When you share.”
Plaintive and honest, the catchy, well-crafted songs (sung
primarily by Nachmanoff with support vocals from the Silcock
boys) are layered with lessons about the human experience.
From “Enchantment Under The Sea:” “At camp last summer,
there in the gym, my heart was pounding, it was sink or
swim. I was afraid. To take a risk… but if I didn’t, what
would I miss?”
A third CD is in the works, and Ann believes that with each
new piece of work, their family’s complex network will
become simpler and stronger; and new bonds will be forged by
working together and singing together. I’ll write more about
this remarkable family, but for now if you’d like more
information visit
www.allourboys.com. To learn more about David
Nachmanoff, visit
www.davenach.com.
This column marks the one-year anniversary (52 editions) of
In The Pipeline. I won’t get sentimental after just one
year, but I would like to thank all of you for the
correspondence, feedback, good thoughts and critiques.
CHRIS EPTING is the author of 11 books. You can write him at
chris@chrisepting.com.
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